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You have just found "Across The Way" - the River Phoenix discussion group.
Since 1996, this group has been the focal point for a community of friends who respect and miss the late River Phoenix.
River was a remarkably talented and successful young actor who, unusual for the industry in which he worked,
radiated a particularly strong sense of compassion not only for all his fellow human-beings,
but also the environment in which we live and the animals we share it with.
In addition to his work in the film industry,
River was also an accomplished musician who wrote several songs including "Across The Way" after which this group is named.
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we welcome new and old members alike into a world-wide society of River Friends.
Browse our long and rich history of messages,
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visit our gallery, or join us in the chat-room to meet other members in real-time.
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Discussions currently taking place around the Campfire - our main River Phoenix discussion forum.
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This third forum is a great place for learning about and getting to know your new River Friends. This is where users post their daily web-log journals.
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| Blogger | Message #68960 |
| iamlilcrow78 | Subject | Obscession or fate?
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| Posted | Tue, Jul 27, 2010 02:24PM GMT | Method | Web-Site |
| I stumbled on to this site because River has been on my mind alot. In fact you can say he has been on my mind since I just wonder am I sick and obcessed or is it just fate?
It started like this. I saw Stand by me as a kid. I immediatly adored the film and it became my all time favorite movie. Now To me, Stand by me is more than just a River phoenix movie. It helped me cope with the idea of death at an early age. But, I loved River because it was clear he was a natural. I was young and still had no idea of just what kind of impact he would have on my entire life. It get's heavy.
I have been a vegetarian since age 4 by my own concious decision. In a family full of meat eaters I was left to feel abnormal. My parents were also very fucked up old hippies. My father was a vietnam vet and a social Pariah, which made me by proxy abnormal. Ridiculed at school by frinds on both accounts. So when I read interviews with River, he left me feeling well, not so alone in the world.
I eventually put my thoughts of River on the back burner shortly after that discovey because I was content with that feeling.
I am going to be as honest as possible here, but truely River's impact had already started but didn't hit me hard until he died. Nov 1st 1993 Something inside me broke when I learn he left the world the previous night.
I can't lie I was about as obscessive as a teenage girl could have probably been. Believing anything the tabloids wrote. My walls were filled with his pictures and my heart with adolecent iconic devotion. Knowing what I know now, I feel bad for having loved him in that way. It was wrong and it is what he hated the most about being famous. But again I was young.
As I grew, I eventually let go of the idiology of his iconic imagry and wanted to know who this beautiful soul was that touched my own without ever having met. I of course saw the rest of his movies. Then I started to get the big picture. The more I saw The more I read. The more I realized how much alike in spirit we were. Now I am not saying he was some sort of star crossed lost soul mate. He was more like a spirit guide to me at this point. Pointing the way out for me on a map of my life.
Aug 23rd, was River's birthday but before I knew that it had always been a relevent day in my life. It was my grandfather's birthday whom I truely adored, it was also my Parent's wedding anniversary. Somehow I felt I was always ment to aknowledge this soul. I was an Aug Virgo too. It made sense, we shared similar cosmic energy.
In this knowledge I again was able to let go of River. I became probably about as Bohemian as he ever was in my older teenage years on into early adulthood. When I turned 22 I became pregnant with my first child. That is the year my parents moved to Oregon. NOW ~ This was a defining moment in my life. Meant to be?
My parents only moved to Oregon for one year, it was sort of a lost year in the final years of my fathers life. But so very pivitol in mine. Shortly after my daughter was born they flew me out to Oregon. They lived in between Salem and Brownsville. Brownsville.. where they filmed most of Stand by me. This is a place I once thought about going as a kid, but forgot about. Until I got to Oregon. Holy Crap.
It was amazing, I mean was the coolest person in my own mind. I stood by the tree where the treehouse was. There were still a few rungs left higher up. I met a woaman who was an extra in the pie eating scene. I stood behind the Blue point Diner where they shot the gun off. I walked across the street where they filmed the boys parting ways next to the little bridge. My mind was blown, just being there. I felt like I was saying goodbye to my childhood and I was. It was a catharsis I never dreamed I could have.
This experience once again brought River to the front of my mind. SO again, I became obscessed but this time it was different. Evertime I watched a movie of his or searched something new. It was like River was telling me, it's okay, we are all part of each other in like this massive way.
Then came my second child I wanted to name him Chris after Chris Chambers but we already has too many people in the family named Chris. WIth a stepson named Forest and my daughter named Savannah, River was well to use a pun, the obvious natural choice. Thus my boy River. He is now four and definatly his own critter. I am not trying to make him into anything he is not that is for sure. But now when I wrap my arms arond my son, I know why River was so integral to my being. He was always part of me and always will be.
Even now I am still slighly obscessed, I am reading Henry Miller's Now is the time of the Assasins, River Phoenix's all time favorite book. I am beginning to understand him in a way I almost wish I didn't know. I understand now his spirit was filled with creation and chaos. It was one that hated and loved everythng that made him.He was more than an idol. He was a complex, compassionate, deep human being who has brought me to myself time and time again.
It's good know other people feel a deep connection with him. I mean that's why we are here, right? Because we are all connected in som big universal way. I figured it out, after 31 years. He was always my teacher.
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View most recent blog thread in full
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| Blogger | Subject | Blog Posting Date | Msgs |
iamlilcrow78
| Obscession or fate? | Jul 27, 2010 | 2 |
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Andy1983
| Hello I?m new here | Jul 24, 2010 | 3 |
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Cara
| Hi, just found this site and had to join! | Jun 29, 2010 | 5 |
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lozzykinz
| So I'm New | May 16, 2010 | 7 |
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SimoneK
| About me :o :D | Mar 17, 2010 | 3 |
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Julia
| update about me | Dec 4, 2009 | 7 |
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alicja
| I am new here! | Nov 25, 2009 | 2 |
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SimoneK
| My OWN River article | Nov 11, 2009 | 12 |
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PrivateIdaho
| New River Fan | Oct 12, 2009 | 4 |
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moatsw
| Happy Birthday | Aug 23, 2009 | 1 |
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Bethany
| Question About Archives | May 18, 2009 | 2 |
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Julia
| i met viviana again | Apr 5, 2009 | 4 |
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Julia
| i start writing a levels this week | Mar 1, 2009 | 6 |
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tanja
| River has fans in Macedonia too! | Jan 25, 2009 | 2 |
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ReporterGirl
| For Barry | Sep 17, 2008 | 8 |
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Julia
| I passed my AS-levels | Jul 21, 2008 | 9 |
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Julia
| photos of my brother's abi party | Jun 29, 2008 | 2 |
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Julia
| my little brother passed his A-levels yesterday | Jun 20, 2008 | 1 |
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Julia
| 2 photos | Mar 13, 2008 | 4 |
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jgv28
| hi | Feb 16, 2008 | 3 |
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