http://river-phoenix.net/forum/?f=5Want to share your day-to-day experiences with your fellow Across The Way members and other Internet surfers around the world? Did something interesting or unusual happen to you today? Record it right here in your Web-Log, or Blog, which is your very own personal Across The Way forum that YOU are in charge of! Only you can create new discussion threads in this forum, and you can optionally decide which other members can or cannot add their own comments to your posts.10http://river-phoenix.net/msg/th/?m=68965Thank you for the nice and warm welcome :) I feel almost like home here! Greetings! AndyFri, 30 Jul 2010 11:48:38 GMThttp://river-phoenix.net/msg/th/?m=68961Maybe it's a little bit of both? :) Hi and welcome to the site and thank you for sharing such personal things with us. It's always interesting to read other people's River stories. There was a disucssion in here back in February/March about obsessing over River. Back then I wrote that people have very different ideas about what an obsession is. To me obession is an irrational thing, and I don't think what you and I are feeling is irrational. I like the word connection better. :) I think many of us have gone through what you have and it does feel really good not to be alone with it. I wrote a post about my experiences in another forum just a couple of days ago. This is what I wrote: "Yeah, that pretty much sums up what I went through, too. I'd watch Indiana Jones with my dad a lot when I was a kid. I must have been about five years old when my 'young Indy' mesmerization thing started. I don't know if it was because my own brother was touring Europe the whole time, but I really felt like young Indy was my brother. I didn't know it was just a character. Then fast forward to age 12, when I'd sort of forgotten about the young Indy thing, there was a commercial on TV for Stand By Me. The first time I watched it I just knew I HAD to watch the movie. I told my mom several times "I HAVE to see it." The whole thing weirded me out, because to be frank, I'd never felt that way before about anything. Maybe it was my subconsciousness that recognized River's face or something? I don't know. But I watched it, and was drawn to him - like rikita before even finding out he was gone. I didn't have internet at home at the time, so I asked my mom to look him up for me the next day. (She worked at an office at the time.) I'll never forget when she told me he'd died. It was bizarre; I was hit so bad. I felt like I'd lost a brother. The same day my mom printed his filmography and different biographies for me. When I looked at it I realized he'd been in an Indiana Jones movie, and the young Indy memories came back to me. I have to admit though... I didn't join my first River Phoenix forum until December 2001, when I was 15. Up until then I'd written a couple of shitty poems to try and 'cope' with the whole thing, but for the most part it scared me. I'm such a chicken. :D I just didn't understand it, and the more I thought about it the more it freaked me out. So I tried not to think about it too much. I felt so alone though. I'm glad I eventually joined a forum and found out I wasn't alone. I still don't get what it is though. On a sidenote: I started dating my boyfriend on August 23. The first time we met was in a music chatroom. He sent me a link to his band's website, and asked me to take a listen. We added each other on MSN, and pretty quickly started feeling things for each other. We felt kinda stupid :)) and decided to meet to find out if we were fooling ourselves. I was waiting for him to get his first car, because he lived pretty far away. Finally he told me one day that he could come visit me on the 22nd. He came to meet me, and the next day, on the 23rd, we pretty much knew it was love. So we decided to date. Also, I lost my cat on October 31st. Worst *beep* thing ever. I want a tattoo in memory of him one day. His name was Oliver. I found him when I was 9. No one wanted him, but he was the cutest little thing. I fell in love with him immediately. I persuaded my parents to adopt him, and for the next 12 years he was my best friend. So, on River's birthday I started dating the love of my life (this year it's seven years together) :) and on the day River died I lost my Ollie. Such a weird coincidence. :-/"Tue, 27 Jul 2010 20:02:35 GMThttp://river-phoenix.net/msg/th/?m=68960I stumbled on to this site because River has been on my mind alot. In fact you can say he has been on my mind since I just wonder am I sick and obcessed or is it just fate? It started like this. I saw Stand by me as a kid. I immediatly adored the film and it became my all time favorite movie. Now To me, Stand by me is more than just a River phoenix movie. It helped me cope with the idea of death at an early age. But, I loved River because it was clear he was a natural. I was young and still had no idea of just what kind of impact he would have on my entire life. It get's heavy. I have been a vegetarian since age 4 by my own concious decision. In a family full of meat eaters I was left to feel abnormal. My parents were also very fucked up old hippies. My father was a vietnam vet and a social Pariah, which made me by proxy abnormal. Ridiculed at school by frinds on both accounts. So when I read interviews with River, he left me feeling well, not so alone in the world. I eventually put my thoughts of River on the back burner shortly after that discovey because I was content with that feeling. I am going to be as honest as possible here, but truely River's impact had already started but didn't hit me hard until he died. Nov 1st 1993 Something inside me broke when I learn he left the world the previous night. I can't lie I was about as obscessive as a teenage girl could have probably been. Believing anything the tabloids wrote. My walls were filled with his pictures and my heart with adolecent iconic devotion. Knowing what I know now, I feel bad for having loved him in that way. It was wrong and it is what he hated the most about being famous. But again I was young. As I grew, I eventually let go of the idiology of his iconic imagry and wanted to know who this beautiful soul was that touched my own without ever having met. I of course saw the rest of his movies. Then I started to get the big picture. The more I saw The more I read. The more I realized how much alike in spirit we were. Now I am not saying he was some sort of star crossed lost soul mate. He was more like a spirit guide to me at this point. Pointing the way out for me on a map of my life. Aug 23rd, was River's birthday but before I knew that it had always been a relevent day in my life. It was my grandfather's birthday whom I truely adored, it was also my Parent's wedding anniversary. Somehow I felt I was always ment to aknowledge this soul. I was an Aug Virgo too. It made sense, we shared similar cosmic energy. In this knowledge I again was able to let go of River. I became probably about as Bohemian as he ever was in my older teenage years on into early adulthood. When I turned 22 I became pregnant with my first child. That is the year my parents moved to Oregon. NOW ~ This was a defining moment in my life. Meant to be? My parents only moved to Oregon for one year, it was sort of a lost year in the final years of my fathers life. But so very pivitol in mine. Shortly after my daughter was born they flew me out to Oregon. They lived in between Salem and Brownsville. Brownsville.. where they filmed most of Stand by me. This is a place I once thought about going as a kid, but forgot about. Until I got to Oregon. Holy Crap. It was amazing, I mean was the coolest person in my own mind. I stood by the tree where the treehouse was. There were still a few rungs left higher up. I met a woaman who was an extra in the pie eating scene. I stood behind the Blue point Diner where they shot the gun off. I walked across the street where they filmed the boys parting ways next to the little bridge. My mind was blown, just being there. I felt like I was saying goodbye to my childhood and I was. It was a catharsis I never dreamed I could have. This experience once again brought River to the front of my mind. SO again, I became obscessed but this time it was different. Evertime I watched a movie of his or searched something new. It was like River was telling me, it's okay, we are all part of each other in like this massive way. Then came my second child I wanted to name him Chris after Chris Chambers but we already has too many people in the family named Chris. WIth a stepson named Forest and my daughter named Savannah, River was well to use a pun, the obvious natural choice. Thus my boy River. He is now four and definatly his own critter. I am not trying to make him into anything he is not that is for sure. But now when I wrap my arms arond my son, I know why River was so integral to my being. He was always part of me and always will be. Even now I am still slighly obscessed, I am reading Henry Miller's Now is the time of the Assasins, River Phoenix's all time favorite book. I am beginning to understand him in a way I almost wish I didn't know. I understand now his spirit was filled with creation and chaos. It was one that hated and loved everythng that made him.He was more than an idol. He was a complex, compassionate, deep human being who has brought me to myself time and time again. It's good know other people feel a deep connection with him. I mean that's why we are here, right? Because we are all connected in som big universal way. I figured it out, after 31 years. He was always my teacher. Tue, 27 Jul 2010 14:24:23 GMThttp://river-phoenix.net/msg/th/?m=68953Hey Andy! Welcome to the list. I hope you'll enjoy it here. We've got other German members; maybe they'll say hi. I'm from Denmark myself, so we're neighbours. Thanks for introducing yourself. I love when new members do that. I think it's about time I write a little something about myself, as well. Simone and I just created a site on PETA's website for River's 40th birthday. We're trying to raise $1000 for PETA in memory of River. You should check it out. You'll find the links in the campfire forum thread "River's 40th birthday; UPDATE!!!" :) Your messages won't show up on the site straight away. New members' messages have to be approved by a moderator. Right now we're experiencing some troubles with the site, in that we can't change member statuses. For instance, Simone has been a member for quite a long time now, and we know that she's not a troll or anything, but we can't change her status to 'trusted'. I'll try to reach the technician so we can get it fixed. :) Until then I'll try to login several times a day to check for pending messages. :) Glad to have you here with us! Take care, HelSat, 24 Jul 2010 15:07:46 GMThttp://river-phoenix.net/msg/th/?m=68952Hi! I?m new here and i just wanted to say ,,Hello!`` to all the other members and introduce myself. My name is Andreas,my friends call me Andy,and i?m from Germany.I?m 27 years and i work in the health business. I was 11 years old when River died.Stand by me was my all-time favorite movie back then and Chris Chambers my absolute hero.When i heard about his death i was devastated. I remember me crying for several hours. Years later i discovered his other films and who River really was.I learned about his dedication to animal rights and environment.He opened my eyes for many things.Things that are now very important for me.I?m a member of Peta and very active in animal right activism.I wish i could thank him for that....he made my life very much brighter and happier. My favorite movies of River are Dogfight,The Thing Called Love and My Own Private Idaho.When i have trouble or pain i watch one of those films.His spirt seems to come through the television screen right into my heart.He helped me through very rough times,again i wish i could thank him for that. So, i?m very happy and proud to be a member of these wonderful message board.I hope to find maybe new friends here :) Greetings to all members :) Andy Sat, 24 Jul 2010 14:07:10 GMThttp://river-phoenix.net/msg/th/?m=68946i just finished the second semester today (first year)with the last exam. I will make an internship for a court in the summer holidays, my last internship was in new zealand. the thought to be in the 3rd semester after the holidays is so nice. :)Thu, 22 Jul 2010 14:12:45 GMThttp://river-phoenix.net/msg/th/?m=68917Welcome to the site! It's always nice to see new people here, and share experiences we've all had concerning River. Like both you and Helene, I don't have anybody either, who understands my affection towards River and I feel truly blessed to have found this site, which I'm sure you do too. But welcome, and I hope you will have some good times here with all of us. We are like one big family, right guys? :D Take care, SimoneFri, 16 Jul 2010 20:33:45 GMThttp://river-phoenix.net/msg/th/?m=68908Welcome! I'm pretty new here as well, but have been a fan for quite a while. I know EXACTLY what you mean when you say that your friends that roll their eyes, haha, no one understand me and my River obsession either ;) I tend to spend quite a while reading stories and articles about him and they comfort me. Especially when I'm going through a hard time and think that no one understands me, I just watch a River movie, or listen to an Aleka's Attic song and somehow feel happy and at ease. :)Thu, 15 Jul 2010 09:01:35 GMThttp://river-phoenix.net/msg/th/?m=68896No problem, thank for the welcome, I love this site! It's nice to know people of all ages feel the same as me... And having people to chat with is great, my friends just roll their eyes at me like here she goes again... And theres only so much my bf can take :D tho he will let me go on! Anyway, hope to make alot of friends hereTue, 06 Jul 2010 00:50:11 GMThttp://river-phoenix.net/msg/th/?m=68894Hi Cara! :) I've been wanting to reply your post for a couple of days, but I'be been kind of busy. Sorry about that. A big welcome to the site. I love it when new members introduce themselves. I hope to get to know you a lot better. You're not alone in feeling alone when it comes to admiring River. I think most of us have felt that way, including myself. Then when I found this site things changed, and I've met some really wonderful people in here. :) Once again welcome to the group. I hope you'll like it here.Mon, 05 Jul 2010 23:29:32 GMThttp://river-phoenix.net/msg/th/?m=68890Hi, my name is Cara Im from Newcastle Upon Tyne in the UK. Im 27 and was 11 when River died. I still remember crying for 2 days, and it sounds strange, but I miss him even today! None of my friends are into River so don't understand where Im coming from when I talk about him and the affect he had on me, so im happy to have found this site and hopefully some new friends?! My fave River movie changes alot... But I can watch them all day everyday! Right now Ive been going through a rough time and have been so grateful to his movies for keeping me sane! Im also a fan of Joaquin, and have been since parenthood tho it wasn't until 1997 that I found out he was River's brother... (does that make me slow?!) Also love Johnny Depp since 21 jump street, and Jared Leto since my so-called life. Im a fan of Jonathan Bradis and Heath Ledger and was starting to think I cursed movie stars! Im a vegetarian, have been for a number of years, and again none of my friends are, Ive never met another Veggie! I have a gorgeous little kitty cat called Nala. I think ive rambled! So thats me, I look forward to making some new friends. www.facebook.com/cara.simpson1Tue, 29 Jun 2010 14:07:46 GMThttp://river-phoenix.net/msg/th/?m=68887Welcome,welcome everyone! I am fairly new as well and I am enjoying/investigating my way around here. Take Care, JessSat, 12 Jun 2010 04:18:16 GMThttp://river-phoenix.net/msg/th/?m=68859Hi and welcome to ATW! Always a pleasure to see new faces here! Stand By Me seems to be the film where many people are first introduced to River. Unfortunately, it's the only one that most stores carry anymore. You can find all of his other films on amazon, so I hope you see more! My personal favorite is Running on Empty. Welcome again and look forward to seeing more of you both! :)>-Wed, 02 Jun 2010 04:07:22 GMThttp://river-phoenix.net/msg/th/?m=68855welcome!! i hope you like this place as much as all of us do :)Mon, 31 May 2010 16:43:42 GMThttp://river-phoenix.net/msg/th/?m=68844Welcome to both of you, and have a joyous time here :) Take care, SimoneSun, 30 May 2010 09:00:15 GMT